What can you tell me from this picture? This picture reminds me of a kid in ICU now. He is a 5 years old kiddo, who suffered from malignant ependymoma. Tumor in the head. Went into surgery for few times, now the consultant has given up on the recurrent tumor. If he goes into the theater again, he might not making it out from there. Everyday, people who came to visit him, regardless of doctors, nurses, family members, will always asked him to smile. His parents sometimes get really frustrated and stressed up, accidentally scolded him if he does not breath well. Imagine how strong he is, to a 5 years old kid. Others in his age now is going to school, meeting new friends, running here and there, playing their favorite games, eating their favorite food. He is lying on the bed, breathing through the ventilator, feeding through nasal tubes, cannot run, can't even hug his parents and feel the warmness from his parents chest. Skin to skin touch is so limited. We're blaming him for watching TVs all the time, don't want to rest. Have we ever step on his shoe to think? He might be thinking that he would not live long, he may bid farewell to us anytime soon. He just want to catch up all the things he missed on the TV, trying to live a life where all other 5 years old kid been doing. He wanted to eat, to taste the food, but he can't even swallow, no coughing and gag reflex. He is scared that he might not wake up once he is asleep. He wanted to spent more time with his love ones. Who knows what future holds for him now? How long can he live? When will he go into complete comatose? We're harsh to him, forcing him to do this and that. Sometimes when he cries, my heart melted and i wanted to cry along. He is stronger than any one of us, in terms of mentality, physical, emotions. Sometimes i asked GOD, why have to be so cruel to a small kid like him? What have he done to deserve this? He is just 5 years old? His journey had just begun and YOU wanted to put an end to it? Why? I am telling lies to a 5 years old kid every time i see him. 'You are doing great, you will be okay, when you get recovered, will bring you to eat this and that, to visit here and there'. We all know he will leave one day. Why do nurses have to face all this? Everyday seeing people crying after their love ones has passed away, we're just standing at the side to see them. Wanted to give them a hug but we're worried what we might get too attached to them. Why have to be so cruel to us? Come back to the 5 years old kiddo, sometimes, the maid said he will call for me. He called me 'will kor kor', play with me. I wanted to play with him and make him smile but sometimes, i walked away...i am just too sad to see him like that....i will not drop a single drop of tears in front of him...i told myself...God, what is going on here?
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