OSCE tomorrow!!!!

whoa, i can't believe time passed so fast. tomorrow will be my OSCE (Objective-Skilled-Clinical-Examination) for semester 7. Kind of nervous now even though the procedures i've done many times. These 2 weeks is killing me softly, reading books, notes, dictionaries, 'choo-choo train' in the midnight. Argh....i want a long long holiday! next month i'll be in my semester 8. 1 more semester to go till graduation day. hmm, should i say, LJM (Lembaga Jururawat Malaysia) examination! <--it is actually a very tough exam, all the answer given in the question are true, you gotta choose the most precise and rationale one. critical thinking again. Who says nursing is just a piece of cake? you come and try it yourself! Argh...these few days keep playing Dota, just feel like killing someone in the game to release tension. damn tense up! i just feel weird now and then, maybe i didn't do well in test 1 and 2 i guess. my last gpa was 4.00, i have to get at least 3.95 and above for this sem or my cgpa will drop again! **bark!!!!! lol...No need to worry coz underdog is here!!!!! crap..getting nuts now...well, gotta resume my studies, gonna 'choo-choo train' again! wish me luck!

tension tension tension!!!!

damn it! i just heard some of my mates said the lecturer actually gave tips for the exam to the students, as the order from the higher authority from the college in order to bring up those with low CGPA. bullshit to the max i said. we work so hard all these while and study till like hell but what do we deserve? they can graduate with us with the same results and compete for job with us. Losers i said! in order to maintain the so-called 'good image' of the college, they would rather do anything. i hope those with the 'good result' out of a sudden without a 'good' reason will score 'flying colours' in LJM! I sincerely curse u guys to fail the exam! this is cheating and u guys are playing with patients' lives you bastards, assholes or whatever. So sad to hear about this, if u have worked hard enough, i don't think u can't pass the exam. just that u guys are bunch of lazy bumps! Asshole! spoil my mood today! u think u can do better than us after u got the tips, well, think again. i won't let ur nose get higher anymore for u guys have been acting like shit lately with the fake result. but still, can't beat me! so fuck off losers! ahhhhhh..enough is enough, lazy to talk about them. Crap! gotta work harder and show them the result from diligent, honest, and strong determination. We now declare war to those 'fakers'. We will prove it in the exam later. I just don't like it, especially in our profession. We are dealing with life and death, it is not funny at all.i dunno how u guys manage to enroll urself in this medical line without tender, loving, care and the most important thing ----> responsibility! Whatever u did, God knows and u'll reap for what u have sown! This is what i always believe and that is why i don't take action against u guys and the lecturer. I don't deserve to judge u guys. Honestly, i have to thank u guys instead of hating. because of your naiveness, it shoot up my adrenaline to study even harder. i will change the education system in the future and i will make sure masterskill college of nursing and health does not produce 'quantity' anymore! i'm so ashame of myself for being part of the college, so ashame of myself to tell my friends and family i'm taking nursing in masterskill college of nursing & health. It is a damn humiliation to me, to my dignity! i just want to graduate from this hell place asap and will never come back. Never i said! too many vermins in the college, shadows all around.

Prayer and a moment of silent to the victims in china earthquake

Dear Lord,

I can't hold my tears as i was reading the news about the earthquake happened in china, many souls sacrifice, be it men, women, children. I know everything happened happens for a reason and Lord you have your own ways. Lord i pray that you would save those victims and bless all the victims of the disaster. Lord please guide those lost soul and bring them to your kingdom, let them rest in peace. To those still struggling for their lives, Lord i pray that you will grant them strength and faith and the will to survive. Bless the rescuers a healthy and strong body to do their job, bless their family as well. Lord for there is nothing impossible to you, pour down your holy spirit and touched their soul, do your miracle on them O Lord. Please help them O Lord. Please show your mercy to them O Lord.

My Jesus, my Saviour
Lord there is none like You
All of my days I want to praise
The wonders of Your mighty love

My comfort, my shelter
Tower of refuge and strength
Let every breath, all that I am
Never cease to worship You

Shout to the Lord
All the Earth, let us sing
Power and majesty
Praise to the King
Mountains bow down
And the seas will roar
At the sound of Your name

I sing for joy at the work
Of Your hand
Forever I'll love You
Forever I'll stand
Nothing compares
To the promise I have
In You

In Jesus wonderful name i ask and pray
Amen

*i urge all of you to pray with me, for the victims and the rescuers. u can choose to fast and pray or praying in a group. That's the least thing we can do to help them. thank you and may lord bless you. God bless.

can't sleep

sigh, trying to push myself for a shut eye but my restless soul just wouldn't get some rest. Mind is filled with tons of responsibilities and notes. Exam coming soon, next week. suppose to be satisfied if i have worked hard and did my best but i just couldn't hold back my 'perfectionist' character. Friends around always advise me not to demand and aim too high, i guess i couldn't help myself. i just like to aim high but when i fall, i don't feel 'too sad' either. Is it really hard to score 4 flat every semester? hmm, i guess so. damn it! i do feel tired these few days, was guiding juniors in their studies as well as doing my own revision. as time passed, i'm getting more frantic and worried. going to graduate this december and will be working as a nurse. thinking about sunway medical centre really freak me to my bones. wanna ask me the reason why? i couldn't tell ya because i myself don't know why.ah crap! can someone upgrade my memory capacity so that i could stuff more knowledge inside? just feel that my brain now is not enough for me even though people around keep calling me 'the walking and talking dictionary'. having good results in this college is not a good thing, it is a disaster. people tend to be jealous and try to bring you down. i really don't know why, whatever incident or shit related to me, if it happens today, the whole college will know about it immediately. i'm so sick of it, i wish i could have some privacy and some rest periods. please spare me fellow human, show me your humanitarian side rather than being cruel to me. damn fucked up life! wish could end this fucking college study asap. duh! SO FREAKING TIRED AND BORED WITH MY NOTES!!!!!! HELL!!!phew, feel better now..just like to crap and fool around, i will ganbateh!!!! wish me luck! adios amigo!

1 liter of tears

something really touched my heart and soul..

lol...seems like i can't control my brain and my hand, just had a strong feel that i should write something here. Regarding to the drama '1 liter of tears', i rated it as the best real life drama ever. I got the movie from my lil bro couple of weeks ago but i didn't open it. Bro said it was damn touching and was able drew his 'masculine tears' out. He is damn true. i did shed tears, in each episodes indeed. (i think more than a gallon of water. lol). i salute to beloved 'Aya', for her courage, strength, neverending faith and the will to survive. She was right, disease isn't a disaster, it is just some inconveniences. She motivates me to become an outstanding nurse and of course, a neurosurgeon in the future.(to be a neurosurgeon was and is my dream since young but...sigh..i shall NEVER GIVE UP!!!!! Gambateh!).Sometimes, i do wish to have an elder siblings so that i could at least sulk in front of them, getting love and guidance from them. Being the eldest in the family is not easy, seriously. even though it's not easy, i will definitely walk with faith and courage. nothing is impossible in this world, at least not to Jesus Christ, our saviour. Now i've learned to accept the disease i have and be compliance to the medication. I must survive! Aya told her boyfriend in the hospital that he (the boyfriend) must survive, must survive! she can't speak (aphasia) and write due to her disease, the only thing she could communicate with people was to point out word by word. how fascinating. sigh, i hereby urge all those who haven't watch this drama to get a copy of it and dwell in the drama, u can learn alot. Oops, gotta continue revision. Arigato.

一公升的眼泪 (1 litre of tears)

1 Litre no Namida (1リットルの涙, 1 Rittoru no Namida, lit. "1 Litre of Tears"; also called A Diary with Tears or A Diary of Tears) is a dramatic tragedy diary written by Aya Kitō (木藤亜也, Kitō Aya, July 19, 1962 - May 23, 1988) published after her death. The diary, a true story based on her own life, was originally written in first person. It is about a girl coping with her teenage life along with a degenerative disease. She keeps a diary of not only what she does but how she feels and the hardships she must endure.

Aya Kito was diagnosed with a disease called Spinocerebellar ataxia when she was 15 years old. The disease causes the person to lose control over their body, but because the person can retain all mental ability the disease acts as a prison. Aya discovers this disastrous news as the disease has already developed. There is no cure.

Through family, medical examinations and rehabilitations, and finally succumbing to the disease, Aya must cope with the disease and live on with life until her death at the age of 25.

sigh..

kinda busy with final exam now, do not have much time to online. sigh, will resume writing after exam. that would be in june. to all my friends out there, gambateh yo! u can do it! god bless. muahsss..