Patience

It's been a month since i enrolled in post basic in critical care in Sime Darby College. My opinion so far? One word to describe it, 'SUCKS'. Most of the time no lecturer in the class, reasons? Having class with the diploma students, clashing of time tables etc. Compensatory mechanism? Assignments and self study most of the time. I do not know when was the last time i have a good sleep during week days. Most of us are sleepy in the class, from 8-5pm then have to rush home to do assignments. The words that came out the most from the lecturer's mouth were 'you all are post basic students, not diploma students, you should have know this and that, learnt this and that, that is your pre-requisite skills bla bla bla'. Have they forgotten there are some year 1 staff nurse in the midst of us? Reading from slides is another mistake, might as well i get the hand out and read it at home. Snug and cozy. These are all my complaints for the first 2 weeks, in my heart, i am really frustrated. Many friends told me to pray and surrender to God, and i did surrender all to God and pray but prayer isnt my specialty, but God did answer my prayer in a very creative way of His. I have to learn to be more patience. That is the only thing i need to build up my faith. I am too 'rushy' sometimes and even people around me cannot bear with me. I want to do things fast, be productive, efficient but i have never thought of the things i have missed during the process. That is enjoyment of doing the particular thing. Enjoy the process and be grateful to people that helped out. Same things goes to christianity, i am rushing myself to be more like Him. Everytime i stepped into the church, i felt isolated and low self esteem. They are so close to God, i dont even know what is going on in the church, follow them to sing, to praise, trying to understand every words from the sermont, the character, the event, etc. Frankly, i got very stressed up. That is why everytime after the service, i quickly and quietly ran off from the church, and i cried in the car. Again, the word patience came into my mind. But how? I am supposed to be happy to be in the house of the Lord, now, i am afraid. I am...